Tony Blair Witch and George W. Bubbles are pondering the threat of Osama Ben Kenobi. They decide their only chance is to pray at the shrine of Double-H, maintained by the UUUUF (Underneath Upwards Undulating Unreal Flowers - also known as the double-U double-U F). There they meet DJ Twatface, guardian of the whirly gates, who runs off and cries when the pair refuse to blow his whistle, bitch. Inside they finally find why the gates were so fiercely guarded - double-H is Happy Hardcore!
They become lost and despairing, and just as all hope seems lost Herby the Flying Carrot Ice-Cream rescues them and flies them to Afghanistan. On the way, George W. Bubbles falls off Herby and lands in the jungles of Newcastle, before being trapped by Evil Lord Clin and taught the ways of Running Into Hard Things. Meanwhile, Tony Blair Witch arrives in Afghanistan, and after surviving a surprise assault from the Talebantubbies finally finds Osama Ben Kenobi. The stage is set, the two combatants ready, when all of a sudden a passing rubber duck on wheels distracts Osama and Tony is upon him! As the two struggle, Osama summons up his evil Al Kyeeda powers to blow Tony away. However, the huge use of power leaves Osama exhausted, and as he struggles with his last few breaths he removes his beard to show himself as Tony Blair's father! Then they all live happily ever after. The End.